Happy Father’s Day from Koi!

We know this Sunday isn’t always a pleasant day for everyone - so for those who are lucky enough to have a good father situation, today is the day to really appreciate it. And we are thinking of those who don’t <3.

October 4th, 2019 | Kev
Time to explore the mystery of the father figure…

Feeding the 5000

My dad’s always worked hard and still somehow found a way to spoil me and my siblings, even when times were hard. A true selfless king. 

He’s (almost) always tolerated us when me and my sister purposely annoyed him as a child, simply because we thrived on the rage it ensued. There’s something so satisfying about the reaction from a family member when you irritate them on purpose, especially when they’re trying to concentrate on something. 

When we were sick we were always looked after. I remember once he even slept on the floor next to my bed when I was ill… I turned over on the middle of the night to be sick (forgetting he was there) and it went in his face. And his mouth. I can’t think of anyone who would still speak to me after that, let alone CONTINUE to look after me. 

A different breed

I feel like some dads are a different breed. They have the westest stories that occasionally make you question how they’re still alive. I sometimes wonder how he had the nerve to tell me off as a kid.

Mine started smoking when he was 8 years old - which is literally year 4 or 5 in the UK…and still smokes 50 years later, which has convinced me he’s low-key invincible. There are plenty of stories he’s told me about his youth that I would love to share but I probably can’t…

When speaking to others in the office, it seemed that a few other dads had a bit of a wild childhood.

Personal favourite anecdotes include: “nan used to send him to chippy when he was a kid with a pyrex dish to get chips for his brother and 3 sisters”, and another was “used to tell his mam he was playing at the local park with his brothers and sisters but they would jump on the bus to play in a tunnel for hours and be gone for hours”. Aren’t dads iconic.

Life lessons

Dads have life experience. Even though they chat shit a lot of the time they have some good advice. Mine taught me how to work hard, and his work ethic has motivated me to try and get far from a young age, no matter the hurdles. A good quote in the office was “if you watch the pennies, the pounds will take care of themselves” - from another bad business bitch dad.

They can also teach you other fantastic skills like “how to play football like Ronaldinho and merk everyone”.

Wholesome vibes only

It seems like dads love a good old wholesome activity, when they aren’t complaining about something. Fond memories of doing stuff like going on walks, farms, walking the dog, kayaking, camping… Others have been lucky enough to travel the world with theirs. 

Even just the little things like spending Saturday nights with a glass of whiskey make cute AF memories.

Annoying AF

Dads do the most annoying things, but it’s what makes them so funny. I dunno about you but mine eats loud. So loud that sometimes it makes me never want to eat again. But at least it makes us laugh.

Dads also get very stressed. I can totally see why - they normally have a lot on their plate, but when they’re in a mood, it seems like everyone has to be in a mood. In the office we discovered that many of them like to tidy up, but in a way that makes shoes, car keys and other personal belongings go missing. 10/10 for effort, though, bless them.

Another signature dad move is pretending to hate the dog until we catch them secretly cuddling them and saying how much they love them. Why are they like this? This one is a real mystery that could have a whole article to itself.

The signature dad music taste

Many dads introduce us to their favourite music by playing records and CDs around the house. We’ve noticed a popular dad music choice is Eminem, which is slightly inappropriate, but I guess it’s character building.

Even as young as 6 The Real Slim Shady was played throughout the house for many of us as a child, unbeknownst to us what the lyrics really entailed. Maybe that’s why I’m not 100% right in the head nowadays. To pay him back I’ve introduced him to plenty of stunning music choices including Tyler, The Creator.

I do appreciate the dad music saga, as I still listen to a lot of it now. Personal and notable faves are Gorillaz, Blur, The Clash, Sex Pistols and System of a Down.

Moral of the story

As annoying as dads are, those of us who are lucky enough to have a dad (and one that they get along with most of the time) should take a moment to feel super blessed today whatever you’re doing. And we’re thinking of everyone struggling this Father’s Day!

I am the missing link to the question. Neither human nor spirit, I am simply the conclusion to all questions theoretical physics has thrown at us. In the past I have shape-shifted from the second to the third dimension, and my brain is full of tunnels and black holes. Other than that I enjoy reality TV